Fathers' Day: Experience With or Without Dad

So today's Fathers' Day? I remember there being a Mothers' Day, Grandparents' Day and such, but this?

I think I may have mentioned this many months ago, but there is a sad truth: Dad's not with us anymore.

I will have to strengthen my resolve, now that I have becaome the de-facto padre de familia. A heavy task to take, considering that I haven't finished college nor gotten a degree at the time.

My mother can't forgive herself. She though Dad was only jesting when he asked her, out of the blue, "What will you do if I'm not here?". What bothers me is that I haven't taken the time to express my gratitude back when he was still living the "old age" generation. All he has said to me were advises on life. For the future of me and my sibling.

He has not caught an ilness, is what I've thought. No vices. He has gone on numerous check-ups, just so that we can be assured that he's fine. I think he hasn't told us what ailment caused his sudden death, that he can't shoulder the burden anymore, because of too much stress.

... Maybe that would be the leading cause. I even saw him before he suddenly collapsed that he was panting, catching for breath.

I haven't left him ever since that day. I was at the Chapel for 3 straight days. His brothers and sister (ninong and ninang) from the States have even bothered to visit him.

Mom's all alone now, and she's in need of a spiritual pillar to lean on.

So, yeah. I'll try. I'll accept Dad's passing as a big challenge to my self-independence and self-reliability as his son.